4/14/2024 – Watching Mom Die, Slowly

It’s rainy and depressing here now.

I planned to go to Pearl Harbor after seeing mom, but it was really coming down. It seemed quite fitting for my mood and mentality.

Yes. The days are here when you watch elderly loved one die in the most dehumanizing wat possible…disintegration. She cannot walk anymore ore move her arms. Touching her cases immense pain everywhere.

Mom went to the hospital a week ago, last Thursday. Despite her always being in pain. and the good news is there is nothing wrong with her. The bad news is she lacks the will to go on. She won’t or can’t eat, although sometimes she lets me feed her.

It’s changing her soiled under garments that got me. It is, perhaps the most, utterly disgusting task that is required care for seniors. But this is what I signed up for when I moved over here to help her on her way out.

And so, I bought a new box of rubber gloves a new mask and the guts to do this when she arrives home. The only problem is no one can touch her without her screaming in pain. And it take three people to change her.

Chris suggested calling Kelly. I thought it not a good idea while we have so much on our plates.

“I still have to get surgery on my thumb.” I said.

Chris agreed and so I bought some time on that issue.

Right now, the break while mom is in the hospital is a welcomed rest.

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