Sunday, March 31st, 2019.
It’s a beautiful day here in Honolulu with only 3.5 days left to go until I fly back to Los Angeles to face my fears and “get on with my life” as Karin’s sister Anne told me. It is calm, warm and quiet here at the apartment that gave me ominous haven after Karin died.
I tried off and on rendering a complex Octane project, but things are heavy on my mind, again, despite the fact we all knew it would happen. I’ve been working full time most of the month and feeling exhausted, so I worked only a little bit on webisode 6 of Neptune 9. The Uber driver told me driving me back home from my tutoring session to take it easy. It’s Sunday.
“Home” I just called it. Amazing how that works.
“LA is your home, CJ.” my mother told me as I hugged her for perhaps the last time.
Just hugged my mom last night, both of us in tears knowing this is the last time I may see her alive. The reality is sinking in as we both made amends, guaranteeing we will part friends, as I worked so hard for all these miserable months. Thank you Gracie Rae for your guidance and love. Thank you all at, ACA/OA Next Stage Recovery for being there for me. You have brought my family and I peace and serenity by learning patience and understanding for the alcoholic parents in our lives. The steps work and the program works if you work it! Bless you all! Below, my mother and stepfather, Chris. Mom had no choice but to call me, CJ. LOL
In all of this, I have learned this is, as yet of another chapter turning in my already changing life. It’s time to start again and finish what I started in LA with Karin. I must go on.
But after six months of healing, grieving and learning, it is time to go back to the only place I have ever called home…Los Angeles California.
I have at least one job waiting for me plus 2 more freelance jobs, so confidence is high.